One of my children had their first-ever sports tournament recently, and it was in Greater Victoria. Over the course of two days, the team played four games and it was more of a jamboree-style of event, so there were no real playoffs, and no real winners and losers, just a celebration of the sport and ensuring all the kids had a good time and will want to return to play next season.
That's one of the big controversies in youth sports — at what point do you start to track winners and losers and start playing to win instead of playing to include every teammate? Before I had kids in sports I would have said you always to play to win. In life there will be winners and losers and kids need to learn that. This despite finding myself sitting on the bench on a number of different high level teams.
Now, having been in the youth sports scene for several years as a parent, my stance has softened.
Sports were my life growing up. They play a huge role. But what I'm seeing now is the bigger picture — the one that involves not pushing young kids to be the best they can be right out of the gate but instead letting them play simply to have fun. There was a time I would have rolled my eyes at that and argued that winning was the most fun a player could have but now I see that the only way to grow these sports and make them more accessible to all children, is to first teach them that the sports they're playing are indeed a good time, that there's something truly special about having teammates, and that it feels good to include everyone no matter their skill level.
I find myself advocating for relatively equal playing time for the younger teams and more in-house skills development over long road trips to play single games against other teams that also could use more skill development. Sports are way more fun when players' fundamentals are solid.
That said, I will tell you that the majority of the young ones playing in my kids' tournament knew roughly what the score of every game was and who won which game, without it being posted for all to see. The competitive drive is there for many of the players; it will just take a little longer for some others to find it, and as long as they're having fun, it will come.
Nevertheless, I think our Cowichan team ended the event with a 3-1 record overall but the real win, in my mind anyway, came away from the games.
Because we were just playing in the South Island, we didn't need hotels or anything so there weren't too many opportunities for the players to bond in the way that true road-trip tournaments can offer.
On the Saturday night, however, a handful of the players decided they were going to watch their coaches' game in Duncan because is there anything cooler than watching your coaches play the very same sport they've been teaching you?
We got home from the tournament at around six and took an hour to settle down before I dragged my tired self off the couch and took the kids to the game. We were a bit late and upon our arrival some members of the team ran over to us, with their sweaty little heads, and bright pink smiling faces. They'd been playing some form of hide and seek tag around the Cowichan Arena.
My kids looked up at me not knowing what was next.
I told my kids where I'd be sitting, where the boundaries were they could venture to, and that I'd have eyes on them, so they'd better behave and check in often.
They stood there waiting for something else. There was nothing else.
"Off ya go!" I said. All the kids cheered and they took off, zipping around the arena like little rink rats, playing hide and seek and having the time of their lives.
I don't believe they would have done that prior to the tournament. I do believe though, that they ran more at their coaches' game than they did during their two games earlier in the day.
Once the game was over — and hooray, their mentors won — they gathered around and chided their coaches for not scoring any goals. They did first have to ask their coaches if they'd scored any goals. There's no doubt in my mind that the eight or so teammates and siblings didn't watch a single minute of the actual game. They were too busy having fun with their teammates, turned friends.
That is how you grow the game. That's how you get kids to come back the next year. Those connections are what sports are all about.
